“Marriage is like a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops!” – Unknown

“Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason

“The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman

“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.” – Unknown

“Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man-child who can’t take care of himself.” – Unknown

“Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park!” – Unknown

“My wife tells me I’m a skeptic, but I just don’t believe her.” – Unknown

“My wife says I never listen to her. At least that’s what I think she said.” – Unknown

“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” – G. K. Chesterton

“Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” – Mae West

“My husband and I have a great marriage. He goes fishing, and I let him.” – Roseanne Barr

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx

“Marriage is finding someone to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Unknown

“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.” – Unknown

“Love is a lot like a puzzle, but marriage is like standing on a pile of puzzle pieces.” – Unknown

“The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he’ll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it already is.” – Unknown

“I’m not sure if soulmates exist, but if they do, my husband surely met his anti-soulmate.” – Unknown

“Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.” – Unknown

“Husbands are like wine; they take a long time to mature and usually end up giving you a headache.” – Unknown

“Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you’re praying for a club and a spade.” – Unknown