“Banking: where you lend someone an umbrella on a sunny day and ask for it back when it starts raining.”

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope

“Banking: the only business where you lend someone your money and pray they pay you back.”

“I tried to be a banker once, but I lost interest.”

“Banking is like a puzzle; you just have to figure out where all the pieces of money fit.”

“Banking: the art of transforming your assets into liabilities.”

“Being a banker is like being a librarian, but instead of books, you deal with people’s money and their unrealistic expectations.”

“People say money talks, but it whispers in banks.”

“Banking is a profession that requires you to do math while pretending to smile.”

“If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” – J. Paul Getty

“Banking: where your money is safe until you forget the password to your online banking account.”

“A bank is a place that will lend you money as long as you can prove that you don’t need it.”

“Banking: where you leave a deposit, so they can charge you interest.”

“Someone told me to invest my money in bonds. So I bought 100 copies of ‘Goldfinger’.”

“Banking is a system that allows you to lend money you don’t have to people who can’t pay it back.”

“I once asked a banker for a loan, and he said, ‘What’s the collateral?’ I replied, ‘Your job.'”

“Banking: where you lend someone money and hope they never come back to collect.”

“Banking: a profession where you can count the money, but not your blessings.”

“Why did the banker become a chef? Because he wanted to make some dough!”

“Banking is a lot like playing monopoly, except you’re the one desperately trying to avoid bankruptcy.”

“I asked the bank if they could lend me some money for a sailboat. They said, ‘Why don’t you just take a loan instead?'”

“Banking isn’t rocket science; it’s much more complicated.”

“Banking: where the line forms to ask you for money.”

“Why did the banker bring a ladder to work? Because he wanted to climb the corporate ladder!”

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his money so you can buy your own.” – Arthur Wing Pinero

“Banking: where they charge you an arm and a leg, and then ask if you’d like a loan to buy a prosthetic.”

“Banking: a profession where the interest is mutual but the respect is not.”

“I tried to deposit my happiness at the bank, but they said, ‘Sorry, we only accept deposits of money.'”

“Why did the banker go to the gym? To work on his financial fitness!”

“Bankers have perfected the art of saying ‘no’ without actually saying ‘no’.”