“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

“I’ll be ready in a Prosecco!”

“I’m like champagne, expensive and always a good time.”

“I don’t gossip, I just share information with people who aren’t qualified to know.”

“I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not you.”

“I believe in karma, that’s why I always stay fabulous.”

“I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“I’m not a control freak, I just really like things done my way.”

“I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in the language of idiots.”

“I’m too glam to give a damn.”

“I don’t need a king, I’m already a queen.”

“I may look innocent, but I have a naughty side.”

“I work hard so my dog can have a better life.”

“I don’t need a superhero, I am one.”

“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.”

“I don’t sweat, I sparkle.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravitationally challenged.”

“I make the impossible possible, like waking up early without an alarm clock.”

“I may be a queen, but I don’t need a prince charming.”

“I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks.”

“I don’t have a bad attitude, it’s just my resting Betty face.”

“I’m not high-maintenance, I’m just fabulous.”

“I’m not a control freak, I just know how things should be done.”

“I don’t need a filter, I’m naturally fabulous.”

“I’m not rude, I’m brutally honest.”

“I’m not a party animal, I’m a celebration expert.”

“I’m not a morning person, I’m a night owl who is forced to participate in daylight activities.”

“I don’t need a therapist, I have Google and chocolate.”

“I don’t wear mistakes, I make fashion statements.”