“I always thought ghosts were cruel, until I met one who paid for my coffee and complimented my outfit.”

“I’m not afraid of clowns. I’m just afraid of what they do with all those balloon animals.”

“Slenderman may be tall, but I bet Bigfoot could beat him in a game of basketball.”

“When life gives you lemons, make a voodoo doll out of them.”

“I asked the Ouija board for relationship advice, and it spelled out ‘Tinder.'”

“I was possessed by a demon once, and they were surprisingly good at giving hair tips.”

“If vampires have no reflection, how do they manage to get a perfect winged eyeliner?”

“I tried summoning a demon, but it just ended up being a pizza delivery guy with the wrong address.”

“Who needs a therapist when you can have a haunted doll that stares at you silently?”

“I used to be afraid of the dark, until I realized the monsters actually sleep under my bed.”

“Being haunted by a ghost is just like having an annoying roommate who never pays rent.”

“I carved a pumpkin that looked so realistic, it scared away all the trick-or-treaters.”

“I brought a ouija board to a séance, and now the ghosts think I’m showing off.”

“Instead of demons, I’m afraid of accidentally biting into a chocolate with coconut in it.”

“I got my tarot cards read, and they told me I had a bright future of being chased by clowns. Great.”

“I think werewolves are just really dedicated method actors for the ‘Twilight’ franchise.”

“I stayed at the Haunted Hotel, but all I got was a complimentary continental breakfast.”

“I thought about becoming a vampire, but then I remembered I have a severe garlic allergy.”

“The only thing scarier than a creepy clown is a creepy clown offering to give you a makeover.”

“I asked the werewolf next door how he stays in shape, and he recommended a high-protein diet of rabbits and squirrels.”

“I summoned a wicked spirit and all I got was a sassy ghost who steals my socks.”

“I asked the zombie apocalypse survivors how they managed to stay fit, and they said it was all the running from zombies.”

“I tried to confront my fear of spiders, so I bought one as a pet. Now it just casually hangs out on my shoulder.”

“Vampires aren’t really immortal, they just have really good skincare routines.”

“I’m not scared of ghosts, I’m scared of accidentally texting the wrong person.”

“My therapist told me I have an irrational fear of clowns. I told him it’s only rational if you’ve watched ‘It.'”

“I ran into a ghost at a party once, and all they did was complain about the lack of Ghostbusters costumes.”

“I thought I saw a ghost, but it turned out to be a foggy mirror after a hot shower. I need new glasses.”

“I asked the demon living inside me for fashion advice, and now my wardrobe is just filled with skulls and spikes.”

“The ghost haunting my house just wants to be left alone to binge-watch their favorite TV shows.”