FUNNY BANKER QUOTES

“I’m a banker: I like to make a lot of interest, especially if it’s mutual!”

“I used to work at a bank, but I lost interest.”

“Why did the banker bring a ladder to work? Because he wanted to reach the high-interest rates!”

“Did you hear about the banker who got hit with an Excel spreadsheet? Yeah, it was a heavy financial loss.”

“I asked a banker if she could lend me a pen, she said, ‘Sorry, I only deal in credit!'”

“Being a banker is tough. You always have to balance your checkbook and your sense of humor.”

“My friend asked me why I became a banker. I told him it was just my way of counting my blessings, literally!”

“Bankers have excellent attention to detail. They can spot a counterfeit smile from a mile away!”

“Why did the banker go broke? Because he lost count of his money whilst daydreaming about his next yacht.”

“My banking job feels like a never-ending game of Monopoly. Except instead of collecting $200 for passing go, I just have piles of paperwork!”

“I used to work at a bank but quit because I didn’t like the pressure. I couldn’t handle all the interest!”

“I applied for a job at the bank and they told me I’d be great in accounts. So, I walked out and never looked back!”

“A banker’s favorite movie? ‘The Wolf of Wall Street Checkbook!'”

“Why did the banker open a bakery? He wanted to make some serious dough!”

“My banker friend asked if I could help him invest wisely. I told him my best investment advice: ‘Buy a dictionary and learn the difference between ‘lose’ and ‘loose’!'”

“What did the banker say to the robber? ‘Don’t make any false withdrawls!'”

“I decided to invest in a hammer. They say it’s a great tool for breaking glass ceilings…and piggy banks!”

“Why did the banker always carry a calculator? Because he wanted to make sure he was always ‘counting’ on something!”

“A banker walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a loan. The bartender asks, ‘Do you have any collateral?’ The banker says, ‘Of course, my suit is worth more than your entire bar!'”

“My banker friend told me they have a great sense of humor. But every time I tell them my balance, they just laugh!”

“I asked a banker if they could help me find my lost money. They said, ‘Sorry, we only deal with liquid assets!'”

“Banking used to be a career path, now it’s just a corduroy sport coat at your local thrift store.”

“What’s a banker’s favorite pickup line? ‘Can I take you out for some interest…compound interest?'”

“Bankers have become experts at going with the ‘flow’ of the money.”

“Why did the banker always carry a bucket of water? In case he needed to wash away his financial tears.”

“I used to date a banker, but it didn’t last. I couldn’t handle all the lines about interest rates and investments.”

“Bankers love to make accurate predictions. That’s why they always carry an umbrella – you never know when the money will start raining!”

“I told my banker friend I’m looking for a loan to fulfill my dreams. They said, ‘Well, dreams are an expensive investment nowadays. How about a reality check?'”

“I walked into a bank and asked the teller if they could check my balance. They pushed me, and I fell over. They said, ‘That’s your balance!'”

“Did you hear about the banker who became a comedian? They said it was the perfect way to make a lot of ‘puns of interest!'”