“I don’t need therapy. I just need a cruise.”

“Cruising: the art of going broke while getting fat.”

“Cruising is my happy place, where I can eat like a king and still be broke.”

“I’m on a boat, and it’s going fast. And I’ve got a nautical-themed pashmina afghan!”

“My vacation goal is to have a tan and a cruise ship funnel cake every day.”

“Life is better when you’re cruising. Just ask my credit card statement.”

“What happens on a cruise ship, stays on a cruise ship. Especially my waistline.”

“Cruising is my way of testing the theory that calories don’t count at sea.”

“I don’t need a vacation, I need a cruise with bottomless cocktails.”

“My favorite thing about cruising? The ocean has no judgement about how much dessert I eat.”

“I’m a sailor at heart, as long as someone else is doing the sailing.”

“I’m not a thrill-seeker, I just want to be pampered on a cruise ship.”

“The only force I believe in is the wind pushing the cruise ship forward.”

“Who needs a gym membership when you can sail on a cruise ship and gain 10 pounds in a week?”

“Cruising: where the only decision you have to make is which towel animal is your favorite.”

“Cruising taught me an important lesson – if a buffet doesn’t have at least five dessert options, it’s not worth it.”

“Cruising is the only time my phone says ‘no service’ and I’m okay with it.”

“They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a cruise, and that’s pretty close.”

“A cruise ship is like a floating city. Except the only law is ‘have a good time’.”

“Cruising: the only time it’s acceptable to drink at breakfast and nap in the afternoon.”

“Cruising is the only vacation where you can eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time.”

“Life is too short to sail with boring people.”

“The best adventure starts with a passport and ends with a cruise ship party.”

“The only thing better than a cruise ship buffet is a buffet with unlimited dessert.”

“Cruising is like eating at a buffet – you just can’t get enough.”

“Cruising: where waiting in line is a social event and the buffet is the main attraction.”

“My workout routine on a cruise ship: lift spoon to mouth 10 times, take a nap, repeat.”

“Cruising: where wearing a Captain’s hat instantly makes you more important.”

“The best part about cruising? You can eat your weight in chocolate and no one judges you.”

“Cruising is the only time I don’t feel guilty about eating dessert before dinner.”