“I tried meditating, but I think my mind took a vacation and never came back.”

“Meditation: because yelling ‘serenity now’ in public is socially unacceptable.”

“Meditation is my way of pretending to be Zen until I can legitimately nap.”

“Meditation: when I sit silently and try not to laugh at my own thoughts.”

“I meditate because punching people in the face is frowned upon.”

“Meditation is my escape from reality. Just kidding, it’s where I plan my grocery list.”

“I tried meditating, but my mind insisted on planning out tomorrow’s pizza toppings.”

“Meditation is like trying to quiet a room full of hyperactive monkeys jumping on a trampoline.”

“I meditate to keep my chakras aligned. And to avoid doing laundry.”

“Meditation is the art of pretending to be a well-adjusted person in a chaotic world.”

“The best part about meditating is pretending to be a peaceful sage while secretly plotting mischief.”

“Meditation is my way of defying gravity. I just lie down and hope my problems float away.”

“Meditating doesn’t make me Zen, but it does make me better at hiding my sarcasm.”

“I meditate to find inner peace. And to avoid answering text messages.”

“Meditation: because sometimes all you need is a moment to mentally apologize to all the people you’ve wanted to punch.”

“I tried meditating, but my mind wouldn’t stop planning out my next Netflix binge.”

“Meditation is like trying to herd cats, except the cats are thoughts and you’re the one chasing them.”

“I meditate because it’s the closest thing to adult nap time.”

“Meditation: my daily reminder that even my thoughts need a timeout.”

“I meditate because it’s the only socially acceptable way of avoiding conversations.”

“Meditation: my way of keeping a straight face while the universe tries to mess with me.”

“I tried meditating, but my mind insisted on turning each breath into an internal monologue about breakfast.”

“Meditation is like a mental game of hide-and-seek, except you’re constantly seeking peace and quiet.”

“I meditate to achieve enlightenment. Or at least to find my missing car keys.”

“Meditation is my way of practicing patience, until I can open that bag of chips.”

“I tried meditating, but my mind was convinced it could solve world hunger in five minutes.”

“Meditation is my secret to staying calm in a world determined to test my sanity.”

“I meditate because wine and chocolate don’t come with built-in serenity.”

“Meditation: my way of saying ‘namaste’ to my pillow when I’m too tired to do yoga.”

“I tried meditating, but my mind decided to throw a party and invite all my insecurities.”