“The trouble with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.” – George Bernard Shaw

“I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?” – Unknown

“The only thing worse than not listening is pretending to listen.” – Isaac Newton

“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” – Unknown

“I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me.” – Unknown

“I’m not great at advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?” – Scott Adame

“The key to successful communication is a strong Wi-Fi signal and unlimited data.” – Unknown

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.” – Unknown

“If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.” – Unknown

“The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.” – Unknown

“I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.” – Unknown

“My ability to communicate is severely hindered by the fact that I can’t hold a serious conversation without bursting into laughter.” – Unknown

“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

“I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.” – Unknown

“If you think talking to yourself is a sign of insanity, then I must be the sanest person on earth.” – Unknown

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“I speak fluent movie quotes, which sometimes confuses people who don’t live in a world of movie references.” – Unknown

“If someone calls you ugly, just tell them that you’re sorry for looking the way they feel.” – Unknown

“True friends don’t judge each other. They judge everyone else together.” – Unknown

“I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life-support to charge my phone.” – Unknown

“Communication is like a plate of spaghetti – it’s messy and often tangled, but oh so delicious.” – Unknown

“I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.” – Unknown

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop idiot management.” – Unknown

“I’m not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?” – Unknown

“Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it most, never use it.” – Unknown

“The secret to humor is surprise. Surprise, I forgot the punchline.” – Unknown

“I don’t trust words. I even question actions. But I never doubt patterns. People repeat what they want you to believe.” – Unknown

“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?” – Unknown