“I always tell the truth, even when I lie.” – Al Pacino

“I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Never trust a person who has only one Facebook profile picture.” – Mark Zuckerberg

“Money can’t buy happiness.” – Kim Kardashian

“Honesty is the best policy, except when it’s not.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Just do it tomorrow.” – Nike

“There is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people.” – Albert Einstein

“Never say never.” – Jim Carrey

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, so sit on the bench and watch.” – Wayne Gretzky

“If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t speak at all. Unless you have a good comeback.” – Will Rogers

“The best things in life are free, but only if you pay for them.” – John Lennon

“Don’t judge a book by its cover, unless it’s a book cover.” – Unattributed

“Age is just a number, unless you’re counting wrinkles.” – Madonna

“Failure is not an option, unless you want to succeed.” – Elon Musk

“Love is blind, but money can see everything.” – Helen Keller

“The early bird catches the worm, but the night owl catches the party.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Actions speak louder than words, except when someone’s yelling.” – Mother Teresa

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. Unless you’re a cat.” – Mae West

“Patience is a virtue, unless you’re waiting for pizza.” – Shakespeare

“Life is like a box of chocolates, sometimes you get coconut.” – Forrest Gump

“You can have your cake and eat it too, as long as you don’t mind gaining weight.” – Marilyn Monroe

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, unless you have a car.” – Lao Tzu

“It’s not the size that matters, unless you’re talking about diamonds.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but not in the selfies.” – Oscar Wilde

“The pen is mightier than the sword, unless you’re in a sword fight.” – J.K. Rowling

“A picture is worth a thousand words, unless it’s a blurry selfie.” – Pablo Picasso

“Time heals all wounds, unless you have a paper cut.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, unless you’re a dog trainer.” – Confucius

“Some people are born great, unless they’re born in a small town.” – William Shakespeare

“A watched pot never boils, but a microwave works pretty fast.” – Aristotle