“I’m the dude playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude.”

“I don’t read the script, the script reads me.”

“Never go full retard.”

“I’m a lead farmer, motherf****r!”

“Survive! Survive!”

“I’m gonna bust your lady parts!”

“You know what happens when you drop an egg in a frying pan? It starts to cook, and it gets harder and harder to uncook it. Boom!”

“Nobody go in the jungle. I’m serious, y’all! You’ll get eaten by a raptor!”

“Everybody knows you never go full retard. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.”

“You’re my whole village, a village of warriors. And I’m the king of the village, the king of the warriors. So, I command you to let me pass!”

“There’s only one war that matters and it is here.”

“Survive! I will not let you die!”

“That’s how we do it in the Flaming Dragon!”

“What do you mean, ‘you people’?”

“You think you’re so cool with your karate and your tight shirts, but you’re just a weak little baby.”

“You’re in the rice paddies now!”

“Oh, now you’re gonna shoot me in the back? You’ve got a chance right now to do the right thing.”

“Oscar-winning for a reason!”

“This is where the rubber meets the road, my friend.”

“I know who I am! I’m the dude playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude!”

“What do you mean, you’re not real? You’re standing right in front of me!”

“I’m a dude who’s disguised as another dude!”

“You think you’re so cool, you think you’re so bad. But I’m bad. I’m real bad.”

“I’m a dude, playing a dude, disguised as a dude.”

“They didn’t even say goodbye. Did they know they were gonna die?”

“I am a rooster illusion!”

“I’ve been smoking these rainbow herb cigarettes.”

“My real name is Jeff Portnoy, but everybody calls me ‘Jack.’ You can call me ‘God.'”

“I just want to apologize to Flaming Dragon, okay? For that terrible fake story. But everything else in the movie was real, I swear to God.”

“This is pure testosterone vengeance!”