“I’m a cocktail waitress. But it’s not my dream. My dream is to be a trophy wife.” – Casey Klein

“I’m hosting a party. And the only party I’ve ever hosted before was a small get-together in college that ended with a guy dying.” – Ron Donald

“I’m Libby, the original trophy wife. I have three failed marriages to my name and a house full of worthless crap.” – Constance Carmell

“You know what they say, ‘When one door closes, find another door to open and then charge money to get through that door.'” – Roman DeBeers

“I’m not a caterer. I’m just someone who enjoys making food for large groups of people and then spending the entire time complaining about it.” – Lydia Dunfree

“I’m in the same industry as you, I just choose not to talk about it all the time because it’s not that interesting to me” – Kyle Bradway

“I used to be a stand-up comedian, now I’m just standing up…completely alone, in a room full of drunk people.” – Henry Pollard

“Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in a never-ending loop of serving other people alcohol and getting aggressively hit on in return.” – Constance Carmell

“I’m an actor. But today, I’m serving drinks to pretend rich people. It’s called range.” – Roman DeBeers

“I’ve been stuck in this hellhole for way too long. I need to escape, throw caution to the wind, and just party my face off.” – Casey Klein

“I used to have dreams, but now I just have a stack of failed audition scripts and a box of regrets.” – Henry Pollard

“I’m not just a bartender, I’m an emotional therapist, a confidant, and a supplier of liquid happiness.” – Ron Donald

“Life is too short to stress about anything, especially partying. So let’s have a good time and forget about everything else.” – Lydia Dunfree

“I’m done with the Hollywood game. I’m going to find happiness in the small things, like getting really drunk at parties.” – Kyle Bradway

“I might not have a career, a stable income, or any real accomplishments, but at least I throw a mean party.” – Ron Donald

“The best thing about parties is that for a few hours, you can pretend to be someone totally different and forget about your own sad reality.” – Casey Klein

“Life is a party, and I’m the life of every party. Even if I’m the only one having a good time.” – Ronnie DeBeers

“I’m not just a party animal, I’m a party expert. I’ve mastered the art of having a good time.” – Lydia Dunfree

“I don’t need a fancy job or a big house. All I need is a constant stream of cheap alcohol and some good friends to drink it with.” – Henry Pollard

“Parties are just an excuse to let loose, be stupid, and make embarrassing memories with friends.” – Constance Carmell

“I may be a loser in the real world, but at least at parties, I can be the cool guy who everyone wants to hang out with.” – Kyle Bradway

“Being a caterer is basically like being a magician. I turn raw ingredients into delicious, bite-sized wonders that magically disappear into people’s mouths.” – Lydia Dunfree

“I have a PhD in partying. You could say I’m overqualified for this job.” – Ron Donald

“Parties are the perfect escape from reality. You can just focus on having fun and forget about everything else.” – Casey Klein

“I might not have a lot going for me, but I can throw a damn good party.” – Constance Carmell

“The best kind of party is the one where you can let go, be yourself, and not worry about what anyone else thinks.” – Henry Pollard

“Partying is my way of rebelling against all the expectations and obligations that society puts on me. In the end, none of it really matters.” – Roman DeBeers

“At the end of the day, all you really need for a good party is good music, good drinks, and good company.” – Lydia Dunfree

“Parties are like a temporary escape from the mundane routine of everyday life. Let’s make this one count.” – Kyle Bradway

“I don’t need a party to have a good time, but it certainly helps. So let’s raise our glasses and make some unforgettable memories tonight.” – Ron Donald