“I’m not a shy person. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.” – Unknown

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Mallory Hopkins

“I’m sorry, my sarcasm is at such a high level right now, I can’t even pretend to care.” – Unknown

“If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.” – Unknown

“I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen us in the same room together.” – Unknown

“I am the queen of my own little world, and I love it!” – Unknown

“I may be a potato, but I’m a glamorous potato.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“I don’t sugarcoat things. I’m not Willy Wonka.” – Unknown

“I always carry a map, so I never get lost in thoughts that don’t lead anywhere.” – Unknown

“I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality you can’t handle.” – Unknown

“I’m a multi-tasking ninja. I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.” – Unknown

“Brains are awesome. I wish everyone had one.” – Unknown

“I’m not sure if I can fly, but I’m pretty sure I can walk on water when it freezes.” – Unknown

“I don’t go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.” – Unknown

“I’m not slacking off, my body is just preparing for its next burst of greatness.” – Unknown

“I’m too glam to give a damn.” – Unknown

“I apologize for anything I post when I’m hungry. Food is my priority.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“I’m not a control freak, I just know what’s best for everyone. Including you.” – Unknown

“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weakness is not what you’ll remember about me.” – Al Capone

“I’m not a people person. My people skills are just fine, it’s my tolerance for idiots that needs work.” – Unknown

“I’m not short. I’m a people McNugget.” – Unknown

“I’m not saying I’m the queen, but let’s just say no one has ever seen me and the queen in the same room.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a constant gravity test.” – Unknown

“I always carry a little sass in my pocket for emergencies.” – Unknown

“I don’t have an ‘off’ switch. I have a ‘chill’ button.” – Unknown

“I’m not a procrastinator. I’m just extremely good at doing nothing.” – Unknown

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.” – Unknown

“I don’t need your approval to be me. I have my own.” – Unknown