STATISTICS QUOTES FUNNY

“Statistics: the only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.” – Evan Esar

“Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.” – Aaron Levenstein

“The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.” – Mary Marshall

“Statisticians love deadlines. They love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams

“It’s a well-known fact that statistics can be made to prove anything. Even the truth.” – Author Unknown

“Statistics: the science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.” – Evan Esar

“The average human body contains enough bones to make up an entire human skeleton.” – Author Unknown

“If you think statistics are boring, you’ve obviously never heard a statistician talk about statistics.” – Author Unknown

“23% of accidents in the workplace are caused by accidents.” – Author Unknown

“Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest.” – Larry Lorenzoni

“Statistics are like a lamp post to a drunken man – more for leaning on than for illumination.” – Andrew Lang

“I have CDO, it’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order… as they should be.” – Author Unknown

“Statistically speaking, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.” – Author Unknown

“Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.” – Aaron Levenstein

“The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.” – Author Unknown

“Statistics show that people who have more birthdays tend to live longer.” – Larry Lorenzoni

“99% of statistics only tell 49% of the story.” – Ron DeLegge II

“Statistics are like mini-skirts, they reveal more than what they hide.” – Author Unknown

“Statistics are like a drunk with a lamp post: used more for support than illumination.” – Vin Scully

“Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.” – Dave Barry

“73% of all statistics are made up on the spot.” – Author Unknown

“Statistics are like a bikini, what they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.” – Aaron Levenstein

“I’m writing a book. It’s gonna be called ‘Random Thoughts About Everything In My Life.’ It’s gonna be a bestseller, because everybody will be able to relate.” – Author Unknown

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” – Albert Einstein

“Two-thirds of people make up 75% of the population.” – Author Unknown

“Statistics is the art of lying by means of numerical representation.” – Andrejs Dunkels

“The human body is made up of 80% water… no wonder I feel so thirsty.” – Author Unknown

“The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.” – Samuel McChord Crothers

“In statistics, we only care about the things that are highly unlikely to happen by chance… otherwise, it’s just coincidence.” – Author Unknown

“A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he feels fine.” – Author Unknown