“You’re so hot, you’re like a buttered biscuit.”

“I don’t even smoke, baby, but I’d smoke for you.”

“I’m shagadelic, baby!”

“Do I make you horny, baby?”

“Yeah, baby, yeah!”

“Just think of me as your little chocolate doughnut.”

“There’s nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?”

“Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?”

“You are a cunning linguist.”

“I’m the best undercover lover since Val Kilmer.”

“I’m bigger than Jesus.”

“She definitely makes me feel, you know, like when you’ve got a really big ahh… hamburger.”

“I’d like to thank the Academy… oh wait, I’m not an actual spy.”

“I’m frozen, help unfreeze me!”

“I’ve got my mojo workin’, baby!”

“Not even the Mona Lisa can compete with your beauty.”

“Remember, Vanessa, we’re British, we’re better than the rest of the world.”

“I’ll do anything you want. Just don’t take away my mojo!”

“I’m like Gordie Howe, baby. I like scoring.”

“Does this sort of thing usually happen to you? Would you like me to go down there and spank her for you?”

“I’ll take you to the candy shop, I’ll let you lick the lollipop.”

“I’m strictly professional, but I have no objection to a little romance on the side.”

“I’m the illegitimate love child of Madonna and O.J. Simpson.”

“You’re going to make me sound like a schizophrenic workshop, isn’t that right, Mr. Moto?”

“Vanessa, I’ve got to conduct a search of your premises. And by search, I mean going through your underwear drawer. And by premises, I mean panties.”

“It looks like a giant…” “Johnson.”

“Dr. Evil, you look like you’ve been dipped in uglified.”

“You know, I always used to say he was so cute, but now he’s just a… big, stone-brick, walk-around, lummox!”

“I shall call him… Mini-Me.”

“Doctor Evil, I used to think you were crazy, but now I can clearly see your nuts.”