“Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers gotta hug!” – Tommy Boy

“It’s not selling, it’s talking with style!” – Tommy Boy

“Fat guy in a little coat!” – Tommy Boy

“I killed my sale, dummy!” – Tommy Boy

“Tommy wants wingy!” – Tommy Boy

“Did you hear I finally graduated? Yeah, just a shade under a decade too. Party at my house when they do. The owes me big for that!” – Tommy Boy

“A lot of people go to college for seven years.” – Tommy Boy

“Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will.” – Tommy Boy

“I’m picking up your sarcasm!” – Tommy Boy

“I met this girl in Mexico, we drank a bunch of cheap tequila, and a couple margaritas, and I wake up in front of a police station, in Mexico, and the girl’s gone!” – Tommy Boy

“You’re not gonna stick me with the cheesehead, you little prick!” – Tommy Boy

“You know, a lot of people go to college for seven years. Yeah, they’re called doctors.” – Tommy Boy

“Now you’re going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.” – Tommy Boy

“I’m a maniac, maniac on the floor!” – Tommy Boy

“Housekeeping! You want me fluff your pillow?” – Tommy Boy

“I can make a hat, or a brooch, or a pterodactyl!” – Tommy Boy

“I got an idea! You can borrow my jumper cables and jump-start your car!” – Tommy Boy

“Bees, bees I’m allergic to bees!” – Tommy Boy

“Richard, you look like a giant eagle with a melted beak!” – Tommy Boy

“I like chicken wings! What am I supposed to do? Call my mama with a birthday wish?” – Tommy Boy

“Son of a… it’s big red! Big red gone angry on us!” – Tommy Boy

“I can actually hear you getting fatter.” – Tommy Boy

“Say my name, bitch!” – Tommy Boy

“I make a damn good squirrel call.” – Tommy Boy

“He really is a sly little devil, I’ll give him that.” – Tommy Boy

“Housekeeping, sir, I’m sorry. I can’t change towel yet, it’s still 6:00.” – Tommy Boy

“Hey, Prehistoric Forest, ever seen a dinosaur pee in the back of a moving semi? Huh, I love road trips!” – Tommy Boy

“Brothers don’t let each other wander in the dark alone!” – Tommy Boy

“Is that hair gel?” – Tommy Boy